The modern day jezebel: identifying and dealing/ healing through narcissistic abuse

Jezebel- many of us have heard about the story of Jezebel and ahab in the book of Kings. She married king ahab (for status and power) and persuaded him to pervert the standards of God. Worshipping false gods, creating sex temples, and killing prophets. She was the epitome of evil! When she knew she was about to die she put on make up, and dressed in the finest appearance and was overthrown and eaten by dogs! While her husband died in battle and her thereafter, the spirit of jezebel has lived on through this present day. While the spirit of Jezebel has run rampid from the spiritual walls to the secular world, it is becoming more understood in the world through the lens of narcissism. It’s the same thing. In this day and age many people are coming out as narcissistic abuse survivors, not realizing in the spiritual realm what they’ve been fighting. So today I move from the spiritual to the natural to expose narcissists for who and what they really are!

Narcissists are highly sexualized beings! Point, blank, period! The world always will revolve around them, and they will recruit, use, and abuse anyone and anything to get their way! None of their thinking or decisions are logical - if they want something or someone they will stop at nothing and no one to get it- they have an endless supply of tricks and premeditated tactics to get what they want. Again if you’re in the natural, trying to understand this from a spiritual lens just know this is diabolic, and demonic! These people are running rampid and ruining countless lives day by day and so many people have no clue what’s really going on! Narcissism is a personality disorder and it’s really hard to track statistically how many people have this disorder because most will never admit that anything is wrong with them.

One of the biggest misconceptions of jezebel is that it’s only women who have this spirit. When it comes to narcissism, men actually outnumber women by a landslide! Jezebel is a spirit! It knows no limits or boundaries!!!

The Prince Charming/ wolf in sheep’s clothing - thy are usually very charming and charismatic men, they care about their appearance, they come off like the best thing since Jesus himself. They are very arrogant but they’ll never admit it. Many will even be found in the church, they can quote countless scriptures, and be gifted spiritually and use that to their advantage, all the while behind closed doors they are demonic, hateful, prideful people. They think nothing is wrong with them because they are so prideful, many of them have this “whoa it’s me” complex, where life has been so hard and never in their favor, and they’ve just been so used and abused, which is all a plan for you to feel sorry for them and fall into their trap. They show up in this cape here to save you from all your failed relationships of the past and show you how “real” love can be. It always just seems too good to be true, and that’s because IT IS!

They’ll say they’ve been cheated on and never admit why their past relationships didn’t work, or what they did wrong in those relationships - all the while, they were the very reason it never worked.

Their backgrounds are usually very unstable. They usually have no fruit, or the fruit they have is only dressed in gold because they profited off of using and abusing someone else to get it. For Example I heard this story of a female narc who was engaged to this man and she ended up leaving him a few months into the engagement for someone else. The man was heartbroken because he assumed she left him for someone way better than him- playing into his own insecurities. He saw pictures of this nice house and new car that she had and he assumed her new man bought it for her. Come to find out the house was being rented, the new man didn’t have a house or a car. The car she bought with the new guys money and then left the new guy a few months after that! She wasn’t happier with the new guy, it was all a facade to hurt both men and make herself look good, because that’s just who they are.

Love bombing - their number one stop on their blueprint of deception and destruction is to be everything you want them to be. They fall so deep in love with you and vice versa because it builds their ammo to suck you into their charm. They usually tell you they love you within a Few weeks or months of dating. Once you realize how much they “love you” you will do any and everything in your power to keep them in your life because the “high” that it creates feels so perfect. It literally is like a Disney fairy tale movie play by play because they have rehearsed it over and over. Once they get you to fall for them they know they can control you in any which way. And soon after the “happily ever after” that you thought you were in, comes the devaluing stage!

Devalue-

cheating - these people have noooooo ability to be faithful to anyone. These are not the kind of people you date or marry, because one source will never be good enough for them. They will ALWAYS have a hidden supply of women and men lined up! It’s all about sex and they’ll stop at nothing and no one to fuel their needs!

lying - oh man! These people are the ultimate story tellers! Whether they are very articulate with their words or very ignorant they will never ever tell the truth! They hate the truth! You could have all the evidence in the world and they will still lie. And if you confront them, oh they’ll get physical, angry, very defensive and turn it all back on you in some kind of way.

deception- they are the ones that you usually can’t see their true colors because of your clouded or emotionally unstable judgement, but those closest to you will try to warn you that it’s not right, and sometimes you’ll be too stubborn to take heed to their advice. it reminds me of when Adam and Eve were in the garden and the serpent approaches Eve and deceives her with its cunning words- narcissist operate in the SAME way!!! The truth just isn’t in them. They will work over time to study you and your weaknesses so they can deceive you and use it against you. At the beginning of meeting these people they will want to know everything about you. They’ll want to know what qualities you look for in a man or woman, and then they will work relentlessly to try to be all of those things just to win you over!

isolation - they will plant seeds of lies and deception about other people in your mind to get you to stop talking to them. Friends family no one is off limits. It could be someone you grew up with and they can start twisting things to make you believe that, that person is actually no good for you! So you cut them off, which leaves you more vulnerable and susceptible to needing the narcissists because you have no one else. They know the more alone you become, the weaker you become! Which is just how the devil operates!!! The enemy will always use isolation to destroy you, which is why when you’re dealing with mental health issues and you’re alone, you become tormented the most!

The more you “need” them, the more they win and sustain control over you!

Manipulation- they are very cunning and strategic with their words and their stories. They can make a crack house sound like a palace, because they are just that good! Whether it is capitalizing on your empathy or demanding something from you, they will manipulate you and the situation to get sex, money, time, fame, houses, cars, kids, whatever there are NO limits!!!!

Gaslighting - example: a woman gets cheated on and has evidence that it happened. The woman confronts the narcissists about his behavior and he responds, why are you so insecure, it didn’t even happen like that, well if you would’ve done more for me, I wouldn’t have to go out looking for someone else.

If you have to go back and ask yourself well maybe it didn’t really happen the way I thought it did. Or maybe I am crazy. Or maybe I did make it all up. You have been a victim of gaslighting!

This is a strategic tool to make you look crazy, to cloud your reality, so they continue to get away with all of their evil, while you stand there confused trying to piece it all together. It will never make sense because it’s not real! Your truth, is the truth- simple as that. Narcissist will neverrrrrr tell the truth!!!

Discard - as quick as they fall in love is as quick as they fall out.... why? Because they never loved you in the first place, they just loved what you could do for them. And the minute they realize you’re starting to figure them out, they’ve been exposed, or that they can’t control you as easily, they discard you. Straight throw you away. They block you. Suddenly break up with you or divorce you. They erase your existence off of their social media page. They stop responding to any calls or text messages. And they move on to their next victim without a thought!

New supply - which is really an ongoing supply. It’s a tool to fuel them and destroy you! They hate being alone.. it’s like that lyric, "girls be like buses, one leave, next 15 one coming!" Trust and believe you are not the only one in their life! It’s all about feeding their ego and their sexual needs. They would get too bored with just one person, they will always, always, always, have an arsenal of men or women lined up to do whatever you won’t do. If you are in a romantic relationship with a narcissist and they leave you suddenly for someone else, one- it wasn’t sudden that other person was always there, two- they’re doing you a favor. Don’t try to guilt trip yourself trying to figure out what you could’ve done better, it has nothing to do with you, you’re not a victim, you’re a target, let them go, don’t let them come back because they will try and come back, move on with your life!

And talking about supply: pornography, absolutely! Dating websites, yup! Social media, that’s easy! Sex toys, that’s automatic! It’s all about sex! That’s it!!! They were, are, and never will be faithful! Ever!

Flying monkeys - this is a narcissist’s recruitment tool! Once they have discarded you or you have discarded them, maybe even went no contact, they will reach out to your friends, family, mutual friends, coworkers, and even use their new supply to find out as much as they can about you, or to inadvertently send information about them to you. For example: if they know you are trying to focus on yourself, they will tell these elaborate stories about how great their life is, to someone who they know is going to go back and tell you. Why? Because now you’re thinking about them again, you’re missing them, and sometimes even trying to figure out how you can get them back. What’s the key focus here? Them! As long as you’re talking about them, thinking about them, or whatever else, they win!!! This is why it’s important to cut off ties with anyone mutually connected between you and them, or to set clear boundaries with friends and family when it comes to the narcissist. Not sharing any of your personal business with these people or entertaining conversation about the narcissist because it will get back to them! It’s all a means of control and destruction!

Smear campaign - this is where the narcissist will destroy you publicly! They will tell as many people as they can how horrible you are, and how much pain you caused them (when of course that's a lie too) Often times they use social media to say all these horrible things about you, and turn everyone against you. It’s a tool to build their own credibility that they are actually a good person and you are the problem! It’s a Tool to victimize themselves to get more attention! Whether in conversation or in public, however they can use you as the pedestal they stand on to shine the light on them, that’s what they will do!

The root: insecurity- these people are VERY insecure, they don’t see the good in themselves, they have a constant need for ongoing validation and attention because they missed it somewhere growing up, they dealt with some kind of rejection or abandonment in their childhood, a lot of times you find it in families, I knew a guy who never directly admitted he had family issues growing up but you could tell they were there based on his interactions with his family. I noticed his mother had been through some relational inconsistencies and in various ways was using her son as, almost like an emotional crutch. He hated it but he wanted to please her and see her happy ... the truth is he was being controlled and manipulated by his own mother in every way possible!

Not only was she Jezebel in the flesh, but she had created a narcissistic prodigy in the process.

In women they are the Queen B. Have you ever been in a room, and everyone is having the time of their life, and then that one woman walks in and suddenly the whole energy shifts, you may get a headache or feel a shift. She demands the attention, she will make up the most articulate lies, she is all knowing and wise, and is mommy dearest. She’s the life of the party, center of attention, she calls the shots and everyone around naturally gets in line. She is the ultimate flirt and the pursuer of men and women. They are very unloyal, they will gossip, manipulate, and sabotage situations. They have deep insecurities and are very jealous and envious of the boss women around them, but they will always paint the picture that everyone is so jealous and envious of them. They use their children as a supply as well, they live through their children, have a huge influence on their children, they see their children as an extension of them not a separate entity, so even when their children get married, she will have more say and more pull in the decision making over the child’s spouse. She controls the spiritual, mental, emotional, and financial aspects of her children’s life completely.

They are very covert, cunning, sneaky! They will use marriage as validation to protect their image, they will portray that they have the perfect marriage, but secretly she is sleeping with other men, her friends boyfriends and husbands and so forth. They also pick a weaker spouse similar to ahab so that they can rule over their home.

These people are liars, manipulators, adulterers, false prophets, perverters of the word of God, physically mentally spiritually financially abusive, they are the devil in the flesh! They hide behind marriage and their children to make themselves look normal!

These people will never be happy and they will make it a point to make your life a living hell. They don’t have a true ability to love or be loved, they are fueled by power and attention. It’s ALL diabolical and demonic. It’s a tactic from the pits of hell to steal all your sanity, kill your self worth, and even kill you physically if need be, and to destroy the very essence of who you are (mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally) so that you can’t be used in any possible way to build God’s kingdom. Empathy doesn’t really exist for them because at the end of the day it’s all about them. Because sex and the need for affection and attention is such a necessity, they will go for both men and women. A lot of times even with men, they will receive sexual favors from other men, while portraying this heterosexual role because they’re so desperate for that fix or high. They don’t care about boundaries, whatever limits you set, they will walk all over them! Absolutely nothing you do will ever be good enough for them, because it’s not about you, it’s about them!

No contact - often times after a narcissist discards you, they will give you the silent treatment because they’ve already moved on. Going no contact is when either they cut you off, or you cut them off, and cancel all communication. If you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, no contact is the best avenue towards your healing. Phone, text, email, social media, mutual friends family, work, it doesn’t matter cut off all communication so that they have no way of access back into your life. Because as soon as the well runs dry with the new supply, they know how easy they got you before is how easy they can get you again, so they WILL come back and try to get you again. They will appear very repenttive as if they’ve suddenly changed- do not be deceived! They haven’t

Self awareness - one of the best questions to ask yourself after you’ve become a narcissist Target is to ask yourself why? What are the deep underlying issues within yourself that cause you to ignore red flags and accept abuse and poor treatment by these people?

narc magnets or those who narcissist are usually attracted to are - codependents, empaths, emotionally damaged, those who have suffered through abandonment issues in the past, stemming from childhood, those going through life transitions, single parents, they go after the boss women/ men who have accumulated success and money- whatever will make them look good publicly!

The second best question to ask yourself is what boundaries do I need to create in order to protect myself from this spirit in the future?

I highly recommend reading the book Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud

Wake up!!!

If this sounds familiar whether in your family, friendships, relationships, church, or even your marriage——Do your research and don’t ignore the red flags!!!

Get help - this abuse is so detrimental that it can destroy the very essence of who you are. Once you realize how deeply you have been entangled and tied to this demon, have enough grace upon yourself to get the help and support from loved ones, support groups, professional counseling, and the word of God.

⁃ when Elijah ran away from Jezebel it was because that spirit was literally tormenting him

Break free- the best thing you can do is seek healing for yourself, pray for them from a distance and detach your self and your soul from this person. Let them work out their own salvation. You can not change them or save them, and the harder you try, the more you will hurt and destroy yourself and lay dormant to that spirit of torment.

Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil and he will flee. - James 4:7

Live your truth and don’t look back

⁃ many times after dealing with this abuse you will want to continue to protect the image of the other person and live in fear. It can feel very shameful and embarrassing as you’re recovering, but remember God hasn’t given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind! Through time, as you find your voice again, live in your truth, be thankful that your eyes have been opened, and more than anything do not ever go back to that person!

You can’t do it alone, healing is not impossible, once your find your voice, value, and worth, never give it away again! You’re worthy!

#ThisIsMyTruth

#IAmANarcissisticAbuseSurvivor

Please share this with anyone who can benefit from this knowledge, or who may in fact, be in any kind of relationship with a narcissist- intimately, family, friendship, business, church, coparenting, and so forth.

If you would like to be connected to more resources on narcissism please reach out! Thank you for your support in exposing the devil for who he is, and bringing, enlightenment and healing to those who are targets of the abuse of this demonic spirit!