Tribe Check #Day20&21 #2minutegems

Start the timer

Okay can I start this one off on a real note.... friendships have always been pretty hard for me. No Im not talking about those surface level workships (because most the time those aren't friendships), or the people you talk to every blue moon. No Im talking about close circle friends that you share intimate soul bearing moments with.

The dynamic of my friendships has changed overtime. Some of these impacts have been a reflection of physical space, letting time slip, or life simply happening. Enduring so many different seasons of change in my life has pushed me to do so much inner work that I often overlook, reject, or let too much time pass from those friends who mean the most! Anyone else guilty of this?

no.... just me....?

The seasons of change that we endure teach us a lot about the company we keep. When I was going through my divorce, I sunk into an incredibly deep depression! And once I shut down, there's no coming back up. While this season shed light on the safety I need to bear my soul, it also taught me that I need consistency to feel safe. Most of the friends that endured that season of life with me, truly understand me and what I need, and are still rocking with me to this day. Ive often felt like I don't deserve the friends I have... and in those moments where that realization is clear, Im constantly reflective of how I can show up in a more intentional way for those who have poured so much into me... this takes humility!

I believe your tribe should reflect the seasons of change.

Either reflective of the lens that shifts summer to fall.....

The lens that shifts fall to winter...

or the lens that shifts winter to spring....

Lets dissect all three.....

Friendships that reflect summer to fall

-Are okay with shedding

-These are the friends that are okay with changing WITH you as you change.... that encourage the shedding of dead weight (emotional bondage) that needs to fall off your life.

-These are the friends that will grow with you and grieve with you.

-These friends have seen your happiest days, so they can discern when you're not your best and are equipped to show up for you in whatever way you need.

-Sometimes these are the friendships we must let go of in order to work on ourselves, and if life has a way of reconnecting the two down the road then you know its real.

Friendships that reflect fall to winter

-Know a lot about rest

-These friendships don't require a lot of work..... you can talk everyday or once a month and pick up like you never left

-These friendships know you intimately- no not romantically, but they share spaces of your heart where only God dwells.

-These are the types of friendships that can endure distance and still make you feel like they are right there

-These are often the lifelong type of friendships- the ones where you met in high school and college, and one experience or another has locked y'all in for life.

Friendships that reflect winter to spring

-Are life giving

-When you talk its always about pushing each other forward and connecting each other to better resources, opportunities, and business ideas

-These friendships are special because when you win, everyone wins.- When you get a promotion they feel like they did too. When you get engaged, and they are still the single friend, its not jealousy or envy. When you are expecting a child, they are right there planning the gender reveal, baby shower, and baby shopping sprees.

-These friendships can also be some of the most blunt- because these friendships don't shy away from the truth. The beauty of this though is that the hard truths are communicated from a place of love without offense.

The truth is there's nothing wrong with any of these seasons. There's beauty, wisdom, and revelation in them all. If you are struggling with showing up as the friend your friends need, or discerning if the people you count as friends need to remain or be cut off, maybe consider what season that friendship is in and what it is revealing to you.

When friendships are no longer serving you, you are never obligated to stay anywhere. You're never obligated to drag out or show up for people who aren't willing to "keep the same energy" for you.

As you walk into another 365, and begin to reflect on the company you keep, I encourage you to reflect on what season your friendship is in and what that may be revealing to you. Some people do deserve the gift of goodbye. Sometimes you may not deserve the quality of friends you have. Some times you need to give people space to do their own inner work. But in all seasons, you should be connected to love, peace, security, authenticity, and always growing. Everything else must go!