When Black Women Win: A tribute to Black Women #Day27 #2minutegems

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You know there's this saying that the good ones finish last..... And we often do... In a society where you can be anything else, Black women are often the least respected, least valued, least seen, and heard..... Yet, often imitated, We can Never be duplicated..... In a world that would love to see us finish last, the truth is, WHEN we win, the world wins! When black women win, we change narratives, we impact empires, we change legacy!

Of course, Ive grown to know that, but no I don't always feel that way.... When I enter spaces dominated by the white majority, I often don't feel like Ive won anything.... I feel like I often have lost my worth, my value, my voice, and my pride... It isn't until I take up space and speak a little louder in those settings, that I begin to feel like I might have a chance at reaching the finish line.

Its often not until I'm in spaces, with other black women that I feel recharged and reminded that I'm ALWAYS winning! When my melanin is glistening, I win!!! It wasn’t until I was listening to Taraji P. Henson's autobiography "Around the way Girl" , that I was ignited with a fire in my soul to lean into this notion of being a black woman, and how black women have changed the game for me! As Taraji tells her story and the multifaceted dimensions of being a woman, actress, and black, on and off set, you begin to see the heart behind the rawness and realness of the roles she portrays.

In the chapter on "Being a Black Woman in Hollywood", she shared her grief, grace, and gratitude, for the experiences in film that were impacted by her blackness. How she accepted and acted in roles that paid her way less than her white counterparts. When she would mention previous roles such as Yvette in Baby Boy or her role in Hustle and Flow, the big name white directors had no clue what those movies were... She was constantly finding her way to make space in a world that had no space for her or black women period!

It wasn't until her role as Queenie, in the Curious case of Benjamin Button, that her MainStage role was being geared towards a predominantly white audience, which meant more publicity and more pay for her.... or so she thought.... "Brad and Kate got millions... and hers was at the lowest of six figures, with 3 months of hotel expenses coming out of her pocket".... Yes, you read that correctly, she had to pay for her own stay, while filming this movie.... She shared how the night after her Oscar nomination loss to Penelope Cruz... Tyler Perry called her to offer her a starring role in the movie "I can do bad all by myself"… He was the first director to offer her a pay that was what she was worth, which opened her ability to negotiate her base pay moving forward!

As I started hitting the "yaaasss" and snaps for this triumph FINALLY, it hit me just how damn amazing black women are!

The truth is there’s a bit of Taraji in all of us..... encouraging ourselves to push those limits set before us, and bring our own seat to the table when there isn't one there for us!

At the beginning of everything is the black woman, and the truth is, what would this world be without the flavor, laughter, light, and love that we bring!

Wasn’t it the late great Tupac who said,

"And since we all came from a woman

Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman

I wonder why we take from our women

Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?

I think it's time to kill for our women

Time to heal our women, be real to our women"

But Before there was a taraji .... It was Viola... Who was the first African American to win best actress in a drama in the Emmys in 2015. Even though she’s headlined in countless starring roles before then......

In her acceptance speech she quoted Harriet Tubman,

"‘In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me, over that line. But I can’t seem to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.’

That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s. And let me tell you something: The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.

You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there. So here’s to all the writers, the awesome people that are Ben Sherwood, Paul Lee, Peter Nowalk, Shonda Rhimes, people who have redefined what it means to be beautiful, to be sexy, to be a leading woman, to be black.

And to the Taraji P. Hensons, the Kerry Washingtons, the Halle Berrys, the Nicole Beharies, the Meagan Goods, to Gabrielle Union: Thank you for taking us over that line. Thank you to the Television Academy. Thank you."

WE ALL WON IN THIS MOMENT!

It was also Sheryl Ralph when she received her Emmy award for her supporting role in the hit show, "Abbott Elementary"

For those millennials like me, we've always known her as "Dee", the stepmother of Mo, on the 90's show Moesha. But When she belted out "I am an endangered species..... And I know where my voice belongs" ..... I felt her as so much more!

It was a deep groan of relief for the decades of resilient black women who've fought to be seen in an industry that is intended for actors and actresses to be seen---the irony! It was that moment that taught me that dreams may not manifest in moments when you deem necessary, but they WILL circle back if you keep fighting for those dreams! This acceptance wasn't just for her, it was shared deeply with all of us... WE ALL WON!

And Before that it was Sojourner Truth Declaring, "Aint I a woman"

"If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it. The men better let them." The significance of this struggle over the years, has deconstructed and straight up bulldozed the countless traps set for black women! We've occupied spaces publicly and privately that have demanded the world to "put some respect on it".... When we made it to the White House, we didn't just meet Obama's wife..... no, no, that was Mrs. Obama the Princeton and Harvard graduate, who didn't shy away from the limelight. Who carried her title with elegance, class, and grace.... Yeah we all won from that! Americans all over the world learned how to "Become" a more powerful force, because of her fight to be seen and heard... Yes we all won!

In the fight for justice over the shameless killings of our black men and boys, it was Samaria Rice (The mother of Tamir Rice)....Gianna Floyd (Daughter of George Floyd).... and Sybrina Fulton (Trayvon Martin's mother)....... Showing an. undying hope in the unseen, while grieving the evident loss, that was being broadcast all over the world. When black women become the safe haven, for black men... We all win!

For me it was my counselor, saying, "Okay you messed.... and.... move on". A black woman who never let me grieve longer than necessary... Or wallow in my self pity as if my life was coming to an end..... Ms. Brenda Because of you, I win!

Maybe it was the time that I was going through separation in marriage.... and hearing, "Girl, I don't want to keep hearing, you don't have no family here.... We're your family and you always have a place to stay... Now, bring my baby over here and stay as long as you need." My sister and friend Portia, a black woman, met me in my most broken place, and loved me and my daughter back to life.... Because of you, I win!

It was my 22 year old, fresh out of college self, working as a single mom at the boys and girls club.... Wandering aimlessly through life... Showing up one day with Kennedy in her infant stage, and hearing a voice from a southern black woman saying, "bring me my baby".... Huh.... was she talking to me?.....reluctantly I handed her my baby,,,,, and she hasn't stopped loving us since that day... Jaz because of you I win! Its the simplicity of hearing "You know I always got you niecey"- The undying words of my my auntie Vay... Because of you I win!

Maybe it was the time I finally got some Lia time, after always being demanded to be mom, mom, mom.... Visiting a black woman who showed me so much of a good time, that I couldn't remember much of it from the night before.... Sending that message of who cares... be yourself... enjoy yourself.... Bre... because of you I feel such a freedom in being all of me!!! Because of you I win!!!

Its been Sparkle warring down heaven for me in and out of season.... Its been Shanelle bringing joy to every occasion when I need it most.... It's been Christina who dealt with every mood swing when I was a senior in college pregnant and has been a beam of light every day since.... Its been my professional mentor keeping it real day in and day out....even on the days when that realness, stings because its so dang true... Doc.... Because of you I win!

It's been grandma Ernestine and Aunt Rose, sharing space in the life of their country boy J, trusting me to love him the way they always have....because of you, I win!

Its because of my birth mother, Maxine, and my godmother Mary, being a force to be reckoned with, with their powerful and intangible push to see me thrive in a society that literally wants to eat me alive. The women that will go through hell and high water just for me.... Because of you... I win

Its because of Barbara, and Florence....and the prayers that they prayed, that are keeping me alive today!

When I win, our babies win.... because even in a professional field where I am the minority, Im changing the narrative for black women on a daily, in the eyes of our black and brown babies! Because of me... they will win!

Its to all the black women in my life, named and unnamed who have impacted me in some way or another.... If I named every impact and interaction, I could fill the Red Sea with my gratitude. My relationships with black women have been the most pivotal life giving relationships. And even when relationships don’t last for whatever reason we all still win! Thank you for birthing, rebirthing, and nurturing all that I am!

With. gratitude and love,

A black woman

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